Using Ho'oponopono as a Self-Love Ritual: Loving Yourself More Than Ever

Recently, I accidently forgot who the fuck I am.

I found myself generously giving away my time, energy, and resources for someone who could not decide whether or not I was worthy of great love and commitment. They used me for my time, love, feminine magic, and emotional support without wanting to give any of it back. Was their attitude a genuine reflection of me as an individual? No, it was a reflection of their own inability to be mature and emotionally vulnerable. But that does not change the fact that surrounding yourself with people who are incapable of seeing your worthiness will have a negative impact on your subconscious mind and self-esteem, even if you can consciously recognize that it's not your fault.

So many great women and men find them in this position in life. They are kind, geneous, and loving souls who are emotionally available and vulnerable. And yet they try settling with a love interest who cannot see that worth or return the same energy back. Or even worse, they settle on friends that do not return the same amount of love, support, and energy that is given to them. Or jobs, lifestyles, etc.

Once we snap out of it and realize "oh shit, I deserve better", that is a really great time to practice a self-love ritual to get our self-esteem back up to what it was before we wasted our love and energies.

The Ritual (with an example)

This ritual is based off of Ho'oponopono, a Hawaiian prayer of forgiveness. It goes like this:

"I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you."

In this ritual, you simply repeat these four affirmations either outloud or in your head many times.

I like to repeat these four affirmations several times and then let whatever comes to mind follow them. In this example, we will repeat the affirmations several times, using it to forgive ourselves, the other person, the situation, and the universe.

On it's own:

I am sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Now for ourselves (like you're talking to yourself):

I am sorry for ignoring all the red flags.

Please forgive me for giving this person so much of our time.

Thank you for having a resilient heart and not letting this experience close you off or forget your worth.

I love you for being so unconditionally loving, even towards people who cannot reciprocate it. It's time to establish boundaries and give yourself that love.

For whoever hurt you:

I am sorry for ignoring our incompatibilities in the beginning and wasting both of our time.

Please forgive me for trying to push you into wanting something more when it is perfectly okay to be where you're at emotionally.

Thank you for all the time we spent together, the memories, and the lessons you have unknowingly taught me.

I love you even though I never had the chance to say it.

For the situation as a whole:

I am sorry for not letting this relationship exist beautifully as it was meant to be without trying to force it to change.

Please forgive me for trying to change the other person's mind about me and forgetting my own self-worth.

Thank you for using this relationship to remind me of the importance in emotional availability, compatibility, self-love, and self-esteem.

I love you and I love that this relationship happened.

For the Universe:

I am sorry for not trusting you and trusting that this happened for a reason.

Please forgive me for ignoring the intuitive nudges and reassurance you've been sending me.

Thank you for allowing me to experience unconditional love and reminding me to love myself.

I love you and the beauty that can be found in every single connection here on Earth, even if they aren't meant to work out in the long-term.

Who should you do this ritual for? Other than yourself?

As you can see, this ritual can be used for ANY relationship, situation, or past event you have experienced.

Take note of any relationship from your past or present where you still carry resentment. That is the perfect person to envision as you speak these beautiful words. You may have to repeat this ritul many times as the resentment is slowly replaced with forgiveness and inner peace, especially if it was a super fucked up relationship.

This often times is not a one-and-done ritual. You may do this ritual, feel at peace with the person/situation, and then feel yourself getting resentful about them again later on due to something else that triggered you.

Every single time you feel that inner tension towards a person, place, or memory - do this ritual. It is like a healing balm that slowly soothes the harsh wounds your soul has

experienced. But it will require repetition. You are literally rewiring your brain to view this situation from the lense of gentle understanding, forgiveness, and stronger boundaries.

How can you use this to forgive and love yourself more?

Use it whenever you feel like you:

- betrayed your own boundaries

- gave more than you received

- gave your body, soul, or mind to someone who has yucky intentions/energy

- put yourself in a dangerous situation

- made a bad choice

- chose the easy option instead of the right option

- whenever you feel like you need it!

Good luck!